Story: Because I Loved Him

This is a story I made for a writing contest at school. Disclaimer: it’s not a happy story. Enjoy!

[Pt. 1] – She.

I met him on Hot or Not. He was the boyfriend I never had. He gave me an ear to listen to and a shoulder to cry on. He was always sweet. Gave me compliments. He made me feel like I was twelve and he was my first crush. I always thought carefully about what I sent to him. I needed to impress him.

 

After a while, he told me he loved me. We hadn’t even met yet, but he just knew. He said he always got that crazy feeling when he talked to me. It may sound strange, but I felt it too. “Maybe we should meet up?”

 

I didn’t understand. He didn’t look like the pictures he’d sent me. But I still loved him. My friends didn’t understand. Someone laughed at me for dating an alcoholic. He told me he wasn’t, and I believed him. Because I loved him. And he loved me.

 

He showed up at my school today. To surprise me, he said. “How do you know where I go to school?” I asked him. “You told me.” I was pretty sure I didn’t. But I didn’t want to look as if I didn’t trust him. So I nodded, “Oh, I remember, yes.”

 

The first time he hit me I forgave him. He was drunk, and he was so, so sorry. I saw it in his eyes; his sad, sad eyes. I make mistakes too sometimes, right? He’d never hurt me before, so it wasn’t like he was abusing me… right?

 

He was screaming. Where was I, last night? “Just partying with the girls.” Was I flirting with other guys? “No, why would you think that?” Did I even love him? “Of course I do…” But I wasn’t sure anymore.

 

It was becoming a routine. Him getting drunk, us fighting and finally him hitting me. I started showing up with bruises at school. My best friend wanted to know how. I lied to her. But I couldn’t take it anymore. “It’s over”. Send.

 

 

[Pt. 2] – He.

I didn’t believe her. I went to her house, screamed at her window. I didn’t care if her parents knew anymore. She sent me away. She was crying. I knew she would come back to me eventually. She needed me. She’d told me that so many times.

 

She started blocking me on every social media platform she used. I wasn’t welcome in her life anymore. But why?

 

I went to her school. Those stupid friends of her gave me nasty looks. As if  I were a monster. But I wasn’t. I’m still not. Teachers came outside to send me away. But I didn’t leave. Everyone saw me. They’d all realize what a bitch she was. For leaving me.

 

I wrote her a letter. Told her I’m sorry. “I love you”. We could start a family together. She’d be such a good mom. I’d stop drinking and buy us a nice house. And a dog. I knew she loved those.

 

She didn’t reply to any of my letters. She acted as if I didn’t exist. I was so angry at her. I waited for her after school. I wanted to hurt her, like she’d hurt me.  She tried to run away, but she was so, so weak. I didn’t even need to hit her. She was scared like hell. “Don’t tell anyone. I’ll kill you”

 

She barely came outside anymore. I had to be careful. She’d called the police. I couldn’t come near her house anymore. “Look, this is you” I wrote on a little piece of paper, which I put in the box with the dead cat. I didn’t kill the cat myself… I’m not crazy. I sent the box to her house.

 

The police wouldn’t let me contact her anymore. I knew deep inside she still loved me. I still know. They don’t know I watch her at night. She’s so pretty.

 

I made a stupid move.  I was drunk. I drove to her house. She was home-alone. I told her I loved her. She told me she hated me. She needed to be punished. I hit her. On her face, in her stomach. Everywhere. It was her own fault.

 

 

 

 

[Pt. 3] – The end… or not.

It hurt. I had to go the hospital. The police finally arrested him. He had to go to prison. I was finally safe. But I felt so, so ashamed. I felt dumb and stupid for falling for such an ass. Once, I DID love him. But now? I hate him. And he hates me.

 

I drove past her house today. She’s moved away. Nobody wants to tell me where to. That didn’t matter. Love will find it’s way. I’ll find her. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I’ll find her. Because I love her. And she loves me.

 

 

 

 

 

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